Death, Strawberry, and… Halloween?
by takaondo
Summary: Halloween. With Rukia. Ichigo knew it was going to be interesting - and frustrating - all at the same time.


**Disclaimer:** BLEACH belongs to Kubo Tite and Shiueisha Publishings.

**Author's Notes:** Give away for BA's IchiRuki FC's _**Halloween Give Away: Let's BRRRRRrrrrrrrr!**_ The theme I chose was** '**101 Ways to Fail Halloween: of course you don't have to go up to 101... but you have the gist!'

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"_The spirits are always with you!"- Don Kanonji_

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_**Death, Strawberry, and… Halloween?

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Standing before the kitchen sink, Kurosaki Ichigo turned on the cold water, and he started to soak a small blue towel underneath the running water.

He sighed as he glanced at the calendar that was sitting neatly to the side of the counter. The date was circle; it was November first, the beginning of the new month, and the end of the longest week of his life. Why was it the longest week of his life?

He spent his first Halloween with Kuchiki Rukia.

You would think that a simple holiday like Halloween wouldn't be much trouble, especially with someone who was already dead. They fit the theme perfectly after all. But if there was a book that defined what the '101 ways to fail Halloween with Rukia' were, he'd be able to associate each number to an event that had occurred in that past week.

Even worse, he could clearly recount the top five.

...

**Moment of Failure Number 6: Explaining the concept of Halloween to Rukia.**

With her hand under her chin, Rukia stared intently at the pile of Halloween decorations on the kitchen table. Ranging from pumpkin stickers to monster masks, Ichigo had gathered them earlier for her so she could see for herself what the holiday was about. He sat quietly at the table as she continued to look over the pile.

"So for this holiday, you basically dress up as something terrifying, then go around the neighborhood to collect candy, right?" Rukia said.

"Yeah, that's basically it." Ichigo replied.

Rukia's eyebrows furrowed slightly, as though she was confused by the idea of it.

"What a weird celebration." She said in surprise.

Ichigo stared at her with a deadpanned expression.

"Funny." He said in a flat tone. "You were completely okay with the idea of Easter."

...

**Moment of Failure Number 22: Trying to scare Rukia, a person who fights monsters on a normal basis.**

Footsteps. Light footsteps.

Rukia's footsteps.

Hidden in the closet, Ichigo held his breath as he heard her walking into his room. He was planning to scare her. Feeling that the moment had come, he quickly pulled open the door, jumping out with a werewolf mask on.

Ichigo growled loudly as he leap out, and Rukia's head snapped towards his direction.

As though time had frozen, both of them were still as statues as they stared at one another. Ichigo's arm were still raised in the air in a 'trying to be intimidating pose' while she gave him the 'what the hell are you doing, you idiot' look.

"_Aho... aho..."_

Ichigo sweat dropped; even the crows outside cried at his failure.

"Ah!" Rukia finally said as her expression lit up. She pointed to his mask. "So this is what one of those 'werewolf masks' look like!"

Ichigo took off the mask and gave her a long and hard stare.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Your reaction..." Ichigo answered quietly. "That's what's wrong."

...

**Moment of Failure Number 35: Telling Rukia to be scary for Halloween.**

It was a few days before Halloween. Ichigo was doing school assignments at his desk as Rukia continued to read more magazines, preparing and researching for the holiday ahead. Her eyebrow rose for a moment, signaling slight confusion at what she was reading.

"How does one normally behave on Halloween, Ichigo?" Rukia asked as she looked over to him. "I've only read about types of candies and costumes."

"Well, it's about being scary, right?" Ichigo said as he glanced over his shoulder. "Just act scary."

"Scary, huh?" Rukia said as she looked up in thought. "Hmm..."

Ichigo turned back to his work, ignoring the sounds of shuffling nearby.

"Ichigo." Rukia said. "Look!"

"What do you -"

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Rukia yelled with her arms crossed over her chest. She had thrown his blanket over her head like a ghost.

Ichigo cringed painfully and the pencil he held fell out of his hand out of shock.

"That was scary, right?" Rukia said with a small smirk.

His face darkened.

"Yeah... but not in the way it was meant to be..."

...

**Moment of Failure Number 68: Letting your perverted father recommend costumes for Rukia.**

Ichigo's eyes widened as a large box was dropped down onto the floor of his room. His father huffed lightly, as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. Ichigo continued to stare at box, knowing that if his father had put in such an effort to lug it up to his room...

It could only mean bad news.

"What the hell is that?" Ichigo asked, already dreading the answer.

"My boy!" Isshin said brightly as he gave Ichigo two thumbs up. "I've picked out costumes for Rukia-chan!"

"She already has a costume, you didn't need to -"

"Nonsense!" He yelled as he pulled open the top of the box. "Here are my preferred options, let me know what you think!"

One by one, he pulled out costumes to show his son, each outfit more scandalous than the last.

"Sailor fuku!" Isshin said.

"No." Ichigo replied flatly.

"Maid costume!"

"No!"

"Bunny girl!"

"Definitely not!"

"How about this costume then?"

Ichigo's eyes widened at the black leather outfit.

"What the hell is that?" He yelled as he reeled backwards. "Don't tell me that's -"

Isshin winked as he held up a long item in his hand

"It comes with its own whip -"

Ichigo's face reddened before he threw both his father and the box of costumes out of his room.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT IT COMES WITH!"

...

**Moment of Failure Number 99: Trick or Treating with someone ten times your age.**

It was finally Halloween night.

Ichigo and Rukia stood awkwardly in front of an old house, the first stop of the night. Rukia, clothed in a rather simple but cute witch outfit, stared at the door as though she was waiting for something to happen. Ichigo, being too 'mature' to wear a costume, stood next to her with a blank expression, waiting for Rukia to do something.

But when she turned to him questioningly, he scowled, knowing that he had expected too much.

"How does one 'trick or treat'?" Rukia asked sternly as though she was being tested.

Ichigo huffed in frustration as he walked forward. Rukia followed him curiously. He held his hand out towards the door.

"It's simple." Ichigo said. "Just ring the door bell and say..."

The door swung open, and a short old lady appeared with a candy basket. Ichigo froze, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"... Trick or treat?" He managed to finish.

The old woman shuffled forward, dropping candy into Rukia's basket with a happy hum. Rukia's face lit up excitedly, having completed her first 'trick or treat transaction'.

"Thank you!" She said, bowing respectfully. Her hat fell off her head as a result.

"There's no need to be so polite." The old woman smiled.

She turned to Ichigo, and to his surprise, dropped a candy into his open palm. He only stared at her with a confused and bewildered expression.

"Aren't you a bit old to be trick or treating though, son?" The old woman said with a slight chuckle.

And with that, she walked back into her house and closed the door behind her. Unable to say anything, Ichigo's eyes slowly shifted to the candy that lay in the palm of his hand.

"..." He stared darkly at it, as though it was made of pure evil.

As they walked away from the house, Rukia glanced at Ichigo with a smirk. Ichigo glared at her angrily with a scowl.

"What are you laughing about?" He said irritably as he dropped his candy into her basket. "Imagine if she knew how old _you_ were."

...

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo snapped out of his thoughts as Rukia called him from the living room.

"I'm coming, jeez...!" He replied.

He quickly twisted the towel one more time to rid of it of excess water, and after unraveling it, folded it into a small rectangle. With a slight scowl, he started to make his way back to the living room. As he entered the room, he motioned towards Rukia who was laying down on one of the couches.

He stared at her uncomfortable face with a slight sigh.

**Moment of Failure Number 101: Even Shinigami will get sick if they eat too much candy.**

"How are you feeling?" Ichigo said as he placed the cold towel over her forehead.

Rukia's eyes fluttered open, and she glared at him.

"What do you think, idiot?" She said disdainfully.

"Who's the idiot here?" Ichigo said. "I'm not the one who ate almost three buckets of candy -"

His face lit up with surprise as she suddenly shot straight up into a sitting position. Her hand grabbed onto his arm for support.

"Ugh. I don't feel so good..." Rukia said as she covered her mouth. "I think I might..."

Ichigo's eyes widened.

"Hey! Don't turn towards me!" Ichigo yelled as he frantically tried to pull away from her grasp. He reached for the bucket that lay just a few feet away. "Use the bucket, Rukia!"

But there was no escaping from the patented 'Kuchiki Death Grip'. The bucket might as well have been on the moon.

"USE THE BUCKET, RUKIA!"

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_**Fin**_

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**Omake**

"Ah, just a false alarm."

"..."


End file.
